Are you killing your relationship by inventing problems?

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Hi Ladies,

When the man who you are seeing texts you less, calls you less, asks you out less, you felt sad, hurt and depressed! In this situation, probably you will fall into one (a few) of the following scenarios, and kill your relationship without conscious awareness of what you are doing. 

1) Some of you will tell the man repeatedly: hey, you are ignoring me; I feel very lonely and sad! I want more texts, calls and love.

When your man hears this, he thinks you are needy and boring, and have no life!

2) Some of you will build a heart wall immediately, and withdraw your love, behave cold when the man comes back to you. Because you think this man doesn’t care you!

When your man faces your cold response, he feels unsafe immediately as if he did something wrong, he feels like that you do not love him the way he is because you are not inviting, and he cannot see your internal world, so no intimacy can be built, thus no connection can be formed, relationship will fail.

3) Some of you will behave as if nothing went wrong by giving more attention to this man, doing nicer things for this man, and in hope of the man will finally realize how “good” you are because of your good virtue!

When your man faces your this responses, he feels strange because you are treating him nicer even if he treated you very poorly, because you are “compensating” in hope of that he will change, thus he feels unsafe with you as well. Because you are not showing your real internal world, so no intimacy can be built, thus no connection and relationship can be built successfully.

4) Some of you will tell the man: hey some man is into me; perhaps I am going out with him, or posting photos that you are with some random guy on your social media to make your man jealous.

When your man faces this response, he feels threatened and hurt, because you are injecting negative energy, also triggered his insecurity, and made him see the worse side of him instead of the greater side of him, so you are not inspiring him, thus he will not like spending time with you because in future every time he sees you, he sees the bad side of himself, so you killed your own attraction!

To be honest, I have done all the mistakes above, and I killed my potential relationship tons of times. And I end up crying, asking why I can never be able to form or maintain a relationship. : ( I must have something wrong, or man must be bad, these conclusion victimized myself, so I could feel okay because I considered myself as the “good guy” in this “relationship”, thus man is the “bad guy”, turned man to be my enemy unconsciously, but I forgot to take responsibility for my own love life experience!

In this situation, when a man texts you less, calls you less, asks you out less, you felt sad, hurt and depressed! Doing either of scenarios above, you are trying to avoid yourself, you cannot just sit where you with whatever you feel peacefully, you want to use another object “a man” to fill this void, so you do not have to be with yourself when you are feeling empty. You lost yourself actually and you complain your man did that to you! 

The correct way of leading a man forward towards a healthy relationship is to take responsibility of your own internal world condition. Start taking care of yourself; find various ways to nurture, sooth and love yourself when he is away, sit with your own emptiness even if you feel uncomfortable, heal yourself and find yourself, make friends and live your life. When he is back, tell him that you missed him; you will be happy that if he gives you more attention, or whatever your emotions were, and then embraces him and enjoys time with him, and appreciate his presence in your life! 

Ok girls, I hope this article helps you gain clarity about how to keep a good man and maintain a good relationship with yourself. 

If you have any thoughts about this topic, do not hesitate to leave a comment below. I will appreciate your feedback very much!

If you like this article, want to experience relationship consultation service of me, and getting result with man, you are welcome to hire me as your relationship coach!

Have a good day, stay confident and stay elegant!

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